I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
