I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
