I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
