I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
