I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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