I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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