We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
