she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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