I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We smell like vodka and hangover
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