six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
no you cant smoke seaweed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
