It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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