Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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