i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
