I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
