Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
