So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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