Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
