i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
