I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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