omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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