Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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