I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
