I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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