party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
