Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
