I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
