WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
