I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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