the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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