Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just invented taco cereal.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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