hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
