You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
