NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
