honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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