Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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