i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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