No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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