you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
