it's not cheating when I paid for it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
