So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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