i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
