I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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