Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
