Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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