Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
