you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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