Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
