new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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