WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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