i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize