why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
