smell my finger.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
