This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
