but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
