She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
