I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
