so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
