I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
