its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
