the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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