Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
