WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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