The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
