Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
