Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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