i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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