Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
